birth journeys: an animistic approach to birth, neurosis and the enchantment of being human

birth journeys
an animistic approach to birth, neurosis and the enchantment of being human
by vyvyan ogma wyverne
‘we fear perdition at every death,
and death at every birth.’
…………….. máire, a spirit guide.
birth process

we're conditioned before our births

neurosis exists before birth.  that which incarnates through birth as a human being or animal is complex and extensive, and its consciousness of itself as an evolving being is more or less well articulated, but also more or less fragmented and confused.  entering its new body from the past, present or future, whether on earth as a material being or as one of the many kinds of non-material or extra-dimensional beings associated with earth; or else gathering and integrating fragments of the self from more than one prior incarnation, the incarnating self is conditioned by fear, despair and pain as much as by joy, knowledge and hope. added to this, most of us are usually incarnating in more than one body at any given time: for example, as plants, animals, or stones, or even landscapes [1] on the material, earthly plane, and/or on, or occasionally as, other planets or stars.

the material universe is infinite: indeed, it is made of atoms whose inner dimensions alone are infinite; and similarly our individual psyches [2] , of time as well as of space, of which the fabric of the psychical dimension of the non-material universe is woven, are infinite.  furthermore, each of us, though fragmented and perhaps fraught with conflict and trauma, is nevertheless whole and complete, and all of our pasts, all of our presents, and all of our futures are accessible to us, for good or ill, wherever we transcends time and space ‘ or would be if our neuroses permitted.  it is primarily for neurotic reasons that incarnation usually involves a loss of the transcendent position from which our infinitude of wisdom and power and love, that is, our divinity, or personal devas, are accessible.

a psyche leaving an incarnation through death has been conditioned by the pain and pleasure of the life it is relinquishing and most critically, by its death pangs.  it may connect with other of its incarnations before being drawn to its new body to be reborn on earth, and these too will have been conditioned by their experiences.  it may also seek access to another or others of its continuing incarnations, large or small, within the earth or beyond it; on the material plane or as an astral, aethereal or other extra-dimensional being or beings. this conditioning gives each psyche its unique character, which in turn determines where and when it will be born and to whom and in what circumstances, and how much choice it will have concerning its new birth situation.  it may be drawn simply to the egg whose genetic configuration matches its spiritual disposition, in much the same way as any particular web address (genetic configuration) will download the only one web page it can conjure of the millions that exist; or it may need help from other beings to modify itself in order to obtain a more favourable birth situation. in some cases, it may encounter unfavourable modifying conditions, which may predispose it to be born in unfavourable circumstances.

whatever our prior conditioning may be, when we reincarnate, our foetal experience and our birth are primal.  that relatively brief experience in the birth canal is a kind of journey, fraught with danger, normally painful and frightening for both mother and baby, and being archetypal, fundamental, and full of import, it patterns our personalities in many ways.  the event sequence of the birth itself is patterned according to the condition of the psyche prior to birth in negotiation with the baby’s genetics, and arrayed to negotiate in favour of the meeting of its own needs against the needs of the mother, and ultimately those of the community into which the child is being born.  the patterning is designed to keep the child attuned to its deva with its pre-birth conditioning, to obtain from his/her mother information about the circumstances under which it is entering the world, and to commit the incarnating psyche to the work the child, whose personality it is contributing to, must do while on earth [3] .

‘neuro-‘ means ‘pertaining to the nerves’, and ‘-osis’ refers to the sum of all activities and meanings associated with the stem it attaches to, in this case, ‘nerves’.  in short, it means ‘nerve-business’, but significantly, it is used in popular psychology to mean  ‘neurological disorder‘, often without any reference to real neurology at all. in fact, one result of being born in a human body is that our neurology decisively determines which of our genetic inheritance’s resources and qualities and which of our psyche’s can be mediated into your conscious earth-bound awareness as the qualities and attributes of our mundane selves. the main karmic workload of any human being is that which must be done to coax our neurology to grow to accommodate more and more of our psychical and genetically inherited resources, and whatever other resources become available to us as these qualities become harmonised and integrated into our earthly personalities.

our neurology at birth, which has developed in the body of the mother under her (usually ‘sub’conscious supervision), mediates our experience almost exclusively according to our genetics, including the unique, idiosyncratic way in which a newborn handshakes with the appropriate psyche, and this done, negotiations begin between the material body and the psyche for possession, control and use of the baby’s neurology, while at the same time, the newborn baby’s bond with the mother undergoes a radical change.  no longer part of her body, the baby must usually ‘meet’ with her and bond with her as a separate being, capable of downloading from its own psyche.

neurological dysfunction may reflect serious, crippling discordance’s between the body and its inheritance, if these have been recently thrown into conflict, or kept in unresolved conflict for a long time.  for example, where psychic awareness has been violently oppressed and punished over several generations, both overtly on the material plane as under the regime of the church, and covertly on the so-called subconscious levels (which may be quite conscious within their own contexts), there will exist neurological conflict, reflecting that which occurs in the whole body-personality, over whether or not to express the effects of the genes responsible for it, and this may result in a whole complex of physiological activities which may even attempt to effect a mutation, if the stress is severe. the neurology that develops in this conflict state may be more or less debilitatedly burdened and beset with strictures imposed by the culture and even shocked, wounded and cursed, although we may assume that its specific nature of the wounding would be as intelligently designed as the organism in which it occurs. [4]

the psyche too may be fragmented and fraught with conflicts, burdened with karma and/or even aflame with some missionary zeal, in a way that may bring it into conflict with the receiving body.  whether violent or peaceable, there is always a power struggle. sometimes the outcome is swift. a predatory psyche may subdue a weakened or defeated body and ride it through its lifetime like a horse, a slave at the mercy of its master.  a predatory body may capture a soul and carry it like a prisoner, extracting what it needs and repressing or even destroying the rest of its resources.  from this may emerge enabled, viable personalities, able to engage effectively in their negotiations with other people at least in the material world.  but often supremacy is maintained at huge energetic cost which places a great strain on the whole system, which may furthermore be forced to manifest the pain and despair of the defeated system in various ways, ranging from physiological sickness to depression, anger and the states of being associated with what most people mean by the term ‘neurosis’.  normally this power struggle persists, providing the agon for a constant war within, for a lifetime of inner turmoil, anxiety and emotional chaos.

a conflict-ridden psyche consciousness bonded to an equally fraught body consciousness, each with its own interests, some of them urgent, makes for an intense interface characterised by power struggles, agonistics and tensions which have their physiological counterparts in the biochemistry within every cell of the body, and patterned into the neurology as it forms. in the case of, say, a genetically coded shamanism inherited from a parent in a culture which has for generations tormented all shamanisms, there is likely to be anxiety in response to any biochemical events which might tend to express the forbidden traits even at the cellular level from the earliest embryonic stages, and dysfunctions may arise because of it. the same principle may operate as regards skin colour or other racial traits in people traumatised by racism.  most people these days inherit fragments of several shamanisms, as many despised or persecuted class or ethnic traits, and a few ‘criminal’ tendencies, which they themselves might despise, along with them.  the neurology formed to accommodate all this not only reflects these agonistics, but also strives to manage them.

a resourceful or healthy system may be able to do this effectively, or even use its dynamics to drive a productive, satisfying life. neurosis becomes unmanageable whenever effectiveness as a person within a culture is radically compromised.

now it becomes evident that it isn’t possible in this chaotic universe for anyone to incarnate in human form on this< travailing planet except through a neurology designed to encode their major psychological systems and hint at their minor ones, and bring them into confrontation with one another, and manage their conflicts; and hence neurosis is a condition of earthly existence, its salient features being established at birth, when the psyche first engages with the body without the intimate intervention of the mother.

at this point, to explore further the nature of neurosis in individuals, we must consider the nature of both the psyche and the body.  about the psyche we have some certain knowledge, a lot more uncertain belief, plenty of guesses, and a good admixture of fantasy, and we should undoubtedly explore them all in forming our vision of it for the purposes of healing.  out of the body experiences attest to its autonomy at least in the short term. near death experiences (nde) investigations point to its survival of death.  shamanisms of all cultures offer further vistas of the realms of the psyche, and a ‘real’ psychology would certainly be considering all models. western academic psychology is certainly the product of a valid academic shamanism, and should be honoured with the rest.  we see its flaws, and should be forearmed then in considering the psyche-science of other shamanisms, both within our culture, such as that of the spiritualists, as well as those of other cultures and of other times, against forsaking high standards of criticism in examining them.  on our planet, concepts of the psyche are vague.

people have always attributed beauty, love, spiritual wealth, wisdom and transcendence to the psyche, seeing the body as only a dumb, stupid beast-like creature of gross materiality that is animated and incidentally briefly elevated by the immortal psyche on its way to its glorious destiny.  yet the body is composed of atoms, each of which was forged in the most ancient times in the hearts of stars or sooner, before stars even existed.  each of these consists of subatomic particles, each one a tightly structured and immensely intricate universe in its own right.  each quark is saturated with impressions of everything it has ever encountered, and conditioned in myriad very specific ways by all the dramatic events it has ever been through.  we each inherit one cell from our fathers, a few billion billions or so of atoms, each with billions of years of its own unique history coiled within its atoms.  we get billions of times more from our mothers, and once born and weaned we grow by eating a wide variety of other beings, whose bodies have been built of atoms, each of which has reached our plate via a route as long and circuitous as those we’re made of ourselves.  within our cells, these are structured according to molecular patterns of galactic complexity, themselves ages old, which then further structure themselves with passion and awesome wit and imagination into bodies that walk and talk.

like dream-catchers these very large organic molecules and complexes of molecules represent the cosmos’s way of organising interfaces between the multifarious cosmic energies and ideas [5] that matter mediates.  they capture and manipulate ideas.  the more complex their organisation, the more complex the ideation. they are driven by the very lusts, passions and needs that in the higher animals are orchestrated by their collective will into the grand passions, driving lusts and ambitions, wild yearnings and ‘divine discontent’ that has driven human evolution from the big bang and all its undoubtedly myriad brother and sister cosmoses and before.  the material body is concept rich, and its brain is well able to make superb sense of its conceptual resources, to think profoundly, to reason beautifully, and to enjoy doing so with humour and grace.

our sensoria vastly enrich our ideativity. the ordering of all this experience into structures of negotiable logic is not normally beyond the body’s cranial capacity.  the body it is who weeps our hormones into the blood serum in an access of love, or in fear or in surrender, whether we are beetles or flowers or human beings, and sighs pheromones of joy and sorrow and shame and pride with exquisite sensitivity.  it is a vast organisation of living beings evolving dynamically, working hard at integrating the lot.  even without the psyche, we’re looking at a wise, passionate and moral being, a perfectly convincing god of the universe.

and it aspires to this union with the psyche.  we’ve always been willing to believe in the ‘higher’ wisdom of the psyche, but we should recognise the ‘dumb stupidity’ of it too.

the body is made of vast numbers of tight, persistent modules of structured energy, and so not less is the psyche.  indeed, the whole universe is. in the body as anywhere else in the universe they are ‘dream-catchers’ and so they are too in the psyche.  in both body and psyche we have myriad modules of structured energy (atoms) multifariously interrelated via interfaces more or less active, forming systems, called cells, also multifariously interrelated, which form themselves into organisms, including humans, according to any one or more of an infinite number of infinitesimally minute, infinitely elaborate, systems of logic, themselves interrelated via active interfaces. these systems structure energy to make bodies, whether material or psychic, which have souls because their atoms have memory, and which have spirituality because the minutest particles of their atoms have (consider the zestiness of sulphur, the stinging spite of sodium, the maudlin dote of magnesium in children’s medicine). their vectors are their wills; our wills are the resolution of the intricately interrelative myriad.

these systems of logic come into conflict at every interface. this is as true of the interfaces between atoms, as it observably is of those between people, cultures, species etc. no one system is right while others are wrong. it is a chaotic situation, and chaos theory applies. they negotiate at their interfaces and when negotiation breaks down we have disorder, conflict, and pain.

so to draw the focus back to the primal, imprinting, conditioned and conditioning birth journey, we can now recognise it as an interplay among several distinct, vital systems seeking to coalesce, supervised by the mother, herself presenting a number of interfaces to the baby, as well as being more or less manageably divided within herself. now we can map our journey through the birth canal into the world, being careful to denote the interface that exists between us now and the events of the birth as we observe it, in order to engage advantageously with one’s personal birth as if it were a kind of tjurunga [6] , mediating the primal agons, (i.e. alcheringa or dreaming), of one’s own divinity in a very specific way.  we have some idea of the physiology of ‘normal’ birth, its sequences of events, their timing, and tolerable variations, and these are representable as landscape features, as events in a journey, or as the elaborations of a sculpture, symphony, or system of mathematical formulae, each interpretative system offering its own therapeutic potential. you could viably represent the various critical features of birth as cards in a pack.  they can be used in this way to access the reality of one’s birth because they use structures of idea and energy (symbols) as dream-catchers whose salient features resonate sufficiently with the features of the birth to permit the passage of energy, both free and organised as information, emotion, and ideation, from the primal scene through its symbolism to one’s adult self, because they ‘catch’ the same ‘dreams’.

arthur janov’s primal therapy, developed in california in the 1960s and 70s, encountered erupting birth trauma and immersed the neurotic in them by annihilating intervening symbolism.  the result was powerful,  astoundingly effective, but too painful.  janov’s pioneers were susceptible to periods of near- or actual madness.  despite much better management now, it’s still a rugged journey.

[7] birth is a dreaming landscape and its djang is sometimes dangerous. that’s why we hedge it about with neurotic fortifications that ask to be approached through symbolism.

janov’s approach was that the birth needed to be found, it’s primal energy released through feeling and responding in the present, and the consequent access of insight would then end the pain of the repressed memory.  however, through symbolism we can dialogue with the features of our birth, its djang filtered through sensitively and intelligently selected symbols, and this has the advantage of recognising that the pain has meaning, that its generative elements can be discerned, questioned, and seen to be the processes of an intelligence.  instead of ‘laying the ghosts’ of past traumas, we should be respectful of their dynamic, eager for their meaning, and wary of ‘ideals’ of mental health formulated from profiles of norms, averages and types.



  • elkin, a. p., 1977, aboriginal men of high degree: initiation and sorcery in the world’s oldest tradition. university of queensland press, australia.
  • gleick, james, 1988, chaos, heinemann,  london.
  • janov, arthur, 1991, the new primal scream, enterprise publishing, washington.
  • talbot, michael, 1991, the holographic universe, grafton books, london.

[1] australian aborigines dreaming places are examples of places whose devas are simultaneously incarnate as human beings, animals, stars in the milky way, and more.

[2] i’m using the word ‘psyche’ and not ‘soul’, because i’m not able to separate the body and soul in that way.  all material objects have souls, saturated with traces and impressions that comprise their memories.  that includes the very atoms they are made of.  when a person dies, what i’m proposing should be called the ‘psyche’ leaves the body, but the soul of the body is returned with the scattered atoms to the earth, each atom having absorbed the soul impressions of the person they were once part of.  furthermore, the ancient greek  ‘yuch’ (psyche) is nearer to my meaning.  our word ‘soul’ is cognate with the irish ‘saol’, pronounced ‘seal’, which means ‘life’.  my sense of the psyche is like the hindu idea of the ‘atman’.

[3] this work is called ‘karma’ in hinduism.  karma refers to work to be done. punishment and reward are only one aspect of karma.  perhaps more prominent among its many aspects is the work we share in harmonising the material, astral, and other planes with  the soul, mind, spirit and other dimensions of being.

[4] curses will be discussed in a later article.

[5] ideas will be discussed in a later article i use the word loosely here, to mean something like ‘modules of meaning’.

[6] a tjurunga is a natural object or crafted design which mediates significant features of the alcheringa (dreamtime) relevant to an individual, clan, spirituality, or whatever.  dot paintings are sometimes used.  they are sacred power objects.

[7] janov acknowledges on p.27 of ‘the new primal scream’ that as it threatens to emerge into consciousness, repressed pain can cause madness and/or provoke suicide.

an animistic conception of mind

lots of very tiny things from inside atoms

startled atomic anatomica

it is not possible to distinguish mind from matter. a being is a mentality; an atom is a being: therefore an atom is a mentality. the scientific assumption that mind is a product of particular biological processes that are distinct from processes occuring in inanimate matter is failing to convince. the idea that inanimate matter sometimes arranges itself into complex structures that at some point of complexity engage first ‘life’ and then later ‘mind’ no longer satisfies. biologists attempting to home in on the precise point of structural complexity at which the heretofore ‘inanimate’ matter springs to ‘life’ and becomes ‘animate’ and, much further along, the precise point at which the heretofore ‘insentient’ biota become ‘sentient’, and at what point ‘sentience’ is sufficiently structured to be called ‘mind’ are more and more bewildered, not less and less, the more they learn. it seems that, while thresholds do exist, all the qualities of all beings are determined as if genetically by the inner nature of their component parts in negotiation with their environment, and not suddenly incurred as a reward for achieving specific patterns of complexity.  life, sentience and mind are in-dwelling in the atom and all material beings are mentalities.

mystical interpretations of phenomena based on the idea that we have souls that ‘inhabit’ our material bodies which ‘die’ when they depart also fail to satisfy. the idea of the soul that incarnates by infusing itself into an independently derived body which is itself ‘just’ a complex of inanimate insentient molecules arises from observations of out-of-the-body experiences and communication with the dead. but human beings are capable of projecting, singly or simultaneously, a vast variety of discarnate portions of themselves, or perhaps i should say, versions of themselves; and are not normally ‘dead’ or mindless while doing so.

a great deal of legitimate science has been done on the subject by non-western scientists, and some western studies have confirmed some tiny aspects of their work. our bodies undoubtedly do actively seek, mindfully and spiritedly, to engage an evolving ‘soul’ while still in the womb, and are susceptible to possession by a large number of different souls throughout their lives. these apparently discarnate beings can be understood in terms of a larger context that doesn’t deny the mentality, psychicality and spirituality of the material body that hosts them, or the materiality, carnality and even mortality of beings such as souls and spirits. while some of them are symbiotic with our bodies for a while, we are only just beginning to become aware of the complexity of the human being and have not even begun to imagine what the implications of our new discoveries are for our understanding of other animals, plants, planets and stars when we begin to extrapolate.

mind is not a thing, but a system of processes and the atoms of all matter participate in processes that can truly be called mental.   understanding the inner qualities of atoms is a major scientific study, and astounding progress has been made. but within the context of current conceptions of matter which assume that there is a real distinction between the animate and the inanimate, atoms are regarded as inanimate, willless, not ‘smart’, and so silly mistakes are being made which hamper investigations in vital directions and encourage misinterpretations that push research up monumental blind alleys the addressed of which get mistaken for scientific truth.  that the subatomic particles that atoms are composed of are themselves complex microcosmoses clustering within an atom is quite clear. but as an intelligent lay reader, i get the idea that some scientists are beguiled by the tininess of atoms and the supertininess of their inner components to the point of imagining that they are working close to the limits of detail, the tinier particles being too small and too ephemeral to have much structure, and can therefore have only the very simplest of minds. it’s as if they are still looking for the simplest building blocks of matter, which is very naive of them, and i will show you why.

atoms are not ‘small’ and humans are not ‘big’ except within a naive humanocentric system of reference.  even within this, if you take a line running from the infinitessimally small to the infinitely large and place humans (quite arbitrarily) at the ‘mid-point’ (of course there isn’t one) the big bang and all its consequences and implications (which i am calling a cosmos,and which many scientists are still calling the universe) some distance to the right and the hydrogen atom some distance to the left all in the right proportions,you still have an infinitely long line upon which to place hypothetical entities much larger in proportion to our cosmos than our cosmos is in proportion to our atom; and on the other side, there are an infinite number of orders of smallness in proportion to which our hydrogen atom is all but infinitely vast.

tiny__s________ a ____________h_______________  b  ________ l ___ big

s and l are points selected for the sake of argument, a represents the size of an atom of hydrogen, h the size of a human being, and b the size of what our scientists are calling the universe. (i’ve made no attempt to get the proportions right)

the hydrogen atom at a is several times bigger in proportion than an entity small enough to be situated at s than our cosmos is to us.  there’d be plenty of room for whole clusters of these s entities to scamper about in a cosy little corner of a single boson, or to teem like ants over the surface of a meson, to colonise even the streams and strata of the glitzier sort of gluon and to do so within a vast ecology of fellow entities great and small and of course they’d all be logically interacting.  there’d be no limit to the minuteness of detail, complexity of structure and  mathematical crebrosity, presenting at least as great a variety and number of tractable mathematical problems and violently intractable ones, and everything in between, as our cosmos offers us. as soon as the experiential data of one of these begins to impact upon another, or with any of the other multidudinous and multifarious entities with which they share that vaaaast ecology, there’d be a transference of this meaning-laden, intricately intelligible text, and that would be ‘mind’, nicht wahr?

and you could make s or l the central point and work from there, and there’d alsways be points an infinite distance to the left and right and so on all the way – turtles all the way down, if you like, and up.

(from the big end, maybe the hypothetical entity at l would be wondering what the blue blazes could possibly be going on inside them dinky li’l big bang things (one of those things our scientists call the universe), of which all the gigmagae within all blooglattls within all snijdanks within the flazwoodles of all the megagigamacroatomoids that make up the universe-as-we-know-it are composed, along with a whole menagerie of other subgigamagic particles they’ve so far discovered in their impressive and hugely expensive laboratories somewere on the surface of the super-planet kwah in the super-universe of zyth.  ‘let’s smash it open and find out,’ they might be saying, ‘or knock chunks off it and think up all sorts of fancy names for chunks of different sizes and quality of radiance.  yeah, that’d be good science.’  but that’s a thorny ethical thicket i’d like to avoid right now, and thankfully, it’s not the topic of this article.)

of course, the time scale i’ve taken for granted emerges for us as a result of species-specific selections taken from an infinitude of possible selections of reality-mapping critera.  it’s humano-specific, the result of our minds negotiating with others within our environment, via our relationships with a wide range of animals, plants, spirit-beings, stars and beings as yet unimagined or known to us only in fantasy or shamanic visions, whose exchanges with us practically constitute those realms of thought that is specifically human, however much it might overlap with those of other species. these selections shape our experience of our environment, and condition and direct the effects we have on our environment, and they determine our sense of time as much as our sense of place, form and dynamic.

but we don’t ‘create’ time or space or any of the logistics we discern, we only select. so the sense we have that one thing is smaller than another derives from an interpretation of their interrelationships that is based upon criteria the logistics of the selection of which are utterly mysterious.  are they indeed arbitrary or not, or even negotiable?  it is unreasonable to suppose that only one could possibly be valid; and within others, our size scale would be so much unintelligible maths.

we are like babies in cribs not yet sure whether the big, wavy, not yet intelligible forms that come and go are something out there or something we do in our heads, perhaps with our fingers, which we have not yet proved for certain actually are those plump little things that sometimes dance about in front of our eyes at the end of what we think might be wrists.

let’s consider a hydrogen atom. science writers mediating the hard bits for us plebs are fond of tracing the life of an atom from its genesis through billennia of text-rich event to the present day where it finds itself part of the duodenum of a bat in a cave on earth. they ignore the indigenous knowledge that this bat is, as all bats are, deep-dreaming the planet off the exquisite teachings of the nature of moth wisdom from samples extracted from the bat’s prey, with a terrifying purposefulness that most biologists prefer not to think about, even if they could.  memory as a phenomenon is found in everything from the water of homeopathic preparations through nicad rechargable batteries to angels, gods and the universes they partly comprise, and psychics aver that an akashic record of all events in any object’s evolution is at least theoretically accessible by holding or focussing the right sort of attention on that object.  humans have a vast amount of memory that our primary ego in the apparent world (which you might call the p-brain but it’s probably best to resist it) never accesses, which includes swathes of data of megacosmic proportions of which we we’re not even conscious at the time.  there’s no doubt that the memory is there, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that an atom is aware of any of it.

now memory is an interesting word. ‘-ory’ is much the same as ‘-ary’ which means, well, something very like ‘array’.  library, commentary, ossuary – memory. memes have only recently been discerned, isolated, named and studied as varmints in their own right. so it’s astounding that we have had such a gloriously well-suited word like memory and its ancestors in our languages since ancient times patiently waiting for us all to twig to the notion that what it refers to is for all intents and purposes a meme-array.  seen as such it becomes much easier to talk about it.  we might logically concatenate whole networks of memes selected from an array of our own variously charged memes in constructing an outline memory of an event from our childhood, say coming second in the under-sevens sack race; and that isn’t to say that an atom necessarily concatenates anything according to any logical systems accessible by us.  there’s an infinitude of logistical systems and not many of them are accessible to us yet. given their internal complexity and the high level of logical similarity from one hydrogen atom to another at least from this distance, as participants in our apparent worldly chemistry, it is monumentally unlikely that they’re not doing it according to logical systems other than those we use.

what memes are is a focus of much very sensitive enquiry and i won’t claim special knowledge.  i’m happy to think of them as impressions and clusters of constellated impressions. that which receives impressions is sensory.  an impression is any detail of any event which impacts upon any medium.  a single hydrogen atom is continually receiving uncountable impressions from every direction, and responding to its own internal events as well. we can’t doubt that an atom is sensory inside and out; that is to say, sentient. sentience isn’t mentality, but mentality depends on sentience, so some of the conditions of mentality are already to be found in atoms.

but memories such as coming second in the under-sevens sack-race consist of swarms and swathes of closely logicalised memes which are interpreted as sounds semlls and images, sequences and scenes and ideas, emotions, psychological implications and god knows what if you wanted to go scrambling after its simplest building blocks. would our hydrogen atom be selecting from its staggeringly huge array of memes as specifically as we do from ours, and supplying that much logic however ‘strange’ to it and interpreting the result in self-sensable effects as we do? and if they did a whole array of equally complex but utterly other things with aspects of being of which we have no knowledge and  we would never dream of, are some sequences not mindful and others mindful?  theirs aren’t, our are?

see our atom as an organism, i.e., an organised being composed of logically interconnected parts that are enabled to function as a unified system by means of exchange, feedback and mutual support and control just as you find in a cell or, on a higher level, in a tree or an animal such as a human being or, on a higher level still, in a planet and so on to galaxies, cosmoses, clusters of cosmoses and outward and ever outward in all directions for an infinite number of tortoises, and that’s without leaving our own time-space continuum to investigate dimensions our brains allow us little cognisance of, though our planet’s mathematicians predict them and some shamans describe them or at least their access points in terms of comfortable familiarity.  there is no reason to imagine that the internal organs of the internal organs of the internal organs of atoms are appreciably less text-rich than those of whole cosmoses, to wit: planets like earth.
any scene on earth is a lot of pixils.  i’m not convinced that the cosmic is strapped for pixils to explicate vast amounts of intricate detail within atoms.  complexity doesn’t taper off to a featureless blur as human sensoria fail to discern it.  letters don’t blur on the page when you can’t find your glasses.

on the other hand, from a sufficient distance the earth with its sands and soils, forests and farms, deserts and jungles, its stones, rocks and mountains, grasses, trees, shrubs bushes and herbs, animals, birds, people, car-filled streets lined withhouses and all the richness and particularity of our planet fade to a nacrous greeny-blue, and from further away almost all its output has become a dim sparkle, and from a much greater distance it ceases to be distinguishable at all, if we depend on human sensoria.  we can no more assume that atoms are made of relatively featureless energy than that the trees far away are simpler and smaller than those close to us in a landscape.

since one hydrogen atom behaves, chemically speaking, pretty much like another, given a similar chemical environment; and since behaviour results from the forces within a system at play with those without, and those without are similar as specified above, then those within must be similar or there’d be no consistant behavious from one atom to another.  this indicates that the logistics in one hydrogen atom are pretty similar to those in another. it is inconceivable that there are no internal logistics, and they’re not random.  so there we are: atoms are  meme rich and logisticated all the way to the last gherkon (which is an entirely hypothetical, yet to be discovered particle of exquisitely brief out-of- the-atom duration although of relatively large size.  it is probably even green and warty with an acid tang and a texture like the inside of a tense grape, swarming with their size-scale equivalent of our microbes and all made of micro-atoms with whole populations of possibly but not necessarily horribly high strangeness beings hard at work building we can’t imagine what. perhaps it’s made of ‘cells’ made of ‘atoms’ made of subatomic particles – well of course it would be- but itt probably thinks it’s a whole universe, with its rather leisurely big bang located at its stem-end and the consequences and implications ending precisely at the surface of its skin, except for its radiances, such as light both self-generated and reflected, music, temperature, gravity and who knows what politics?

going back to the memory of coming second in the under-sevens sack race, you might recall that i described the memes in the array from which the elements of a specific memory was selected as loaded. emotional loading is one kind of loading.  significant indicators of the criteria for our selections from the data on the basis of which we construct our shared sense of the ‘apparent world’, vital to the intelligibility of experience, have a different sort of loading.  those that constitute access to other paradigms, or potential for growth or change have others.  some are loaded for a variety of reasons not our own.  all these loadings are energetic.  memes are variously energised and structured so as to deploy or store their energies in various ways.  even freud knew that, though he wasn’t using the term  ‘memes’. logistics are the pattern of energetic exchange, of flow, within any system.  energetic exchange determines relationships such as bonds both chemical and logical (and within the neurology of the brain these are sometimes one and the same), and emotional (and within atoms as among humans perhaps at least some bonds are emotional) and they also instigate activity and emotivity as well, leading to change and growth or diminishment and the features of life and death.

ideo-energetic exchange among event impressions according to complex logistics even begins to look like the fabric of the atoms our cosmos is partly made of.  it is life. it is mind. it is emotion. it is psyche. it is spirit.

awen                    awen                       awen

power of awen

Power of Awen  <~ click to listen.

in the mystic blooming of my soul
are brooded, hatched and fed my fledgling dreams.
i watch their petal wings like skies unfolding
to take swift flight through rapturous cosmic streams…
in vision-cradling caverns of my mind
wild dragons fleshed of thought and reason dwell.
explosive power in every revelation –
they guard a wisdom too profound to tell.
and in the soaring magic of my thoughts
breaths are words, words names, names powers great.
fleet the image, sure the manifestation,
quick and light as thought, yet fixed as fate.
in the scintillations of my cells,
crafting the fine molecular weave of flesh,
mountains are my ribs, my blood is stars –
light is the weft and radiant life the mesh
i am the soar of spirit, the math of mind,
i am the starry flesh, the shine of soul,
i am the breath, the fire, the flow the form,
i am the fleeting gleam, the eternal whole.
somehow it means something, some vital thing,
somehow to enhance, to heal, recharge, renew,
by the touch of a hand, a gesture, a word of love?
power of awen in everything we do!

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